It's not quite a quiver full, but it's a start!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Whom Shall I Fear

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7

As mothers there is one thing that seems to grip us from the moment we find out we are pregnant. It is there through our pregnancy, it is in the first moment we hold that baby in our arms, it is in the first moment our baby tries to do something on their own. It is not pride or joy, it is fear. It grips us so tightly that sometimes we can't even breathe. It holds us captive to everything it is that we want to do, to everything we wish we could do.

We've all had that gripping moment of panic. Our child disappears for a millisecond on the playground, our husband isn't answering his phone and he was supposed to be home thirty minutes ago, we're about to be apart from our baby for the first time. The world starts spinning, voices just mumble together, a step-by-step worst case scenario plays through our minds in alarming detail. Our child has been kidnapped and we will never see them again, our husband has been in a terrible accident and now we will be left to live our lives alone, something awful will happen to our baby while we are gone and there is nothing we can do about it. The fear grabs a hold of us and it seems almost impossible to escape it. It is irrational, it is unstoppable, it is torturous.

Well, I will ask a question that was posed to me today: What is your biggest fear? Mine is that something will happen to my husband, to my children, that I will lose my family. So what if that happens? I will be devastated. Then what? I will probably not be able to breathe, not be able to stop crying, not be able to even get out of bed. Then what? I will miss them every single second of every single day. I will be useless. I will have no purpose. I don't know how I would be able to go on living. Then what? I'll probably lose all of my friends because I won't even want to talk to anyone. I'll push away my extended family. Then what? Well, I guess I couldn't continue that forever. So, eventually, no matter how long it takes, I will have to pick myself up, figure out what it is I need to do now, and keep going. What eternal result does this worst case scenario have on your life? None, in the end God is still God, life still happens, and I am not the one in control.

Yes, fear is a tormentor, a ruiner of lives. I would even argue that fear is even more powerful than the actual thing we are fearing. I've heard that fear is the guard that keeps watch over our idols. How in your face is that? In those times I fear harm coming to my children it is because I am placing my feelings for them above God. I am forgetting that they are God's children, that He holds them in the palm of His hand, the He has the ultimate good in mind. Whenever I see fear in my life, it is a red flag that I need to cast it out and examine what idol it is guarding. I need to make sure I am keeping the proper perspective, the proper priorities. Fear is not a sign of love, a sign of caring. Fear cannot be equated with those things or we will destroy the very relationship we are trying to protect.

Psalm 91: Security of the One Who Trusts in the LORD.

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.
5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.
7 A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
8 You will only look on with your eyes
And see the recompense of the wicked.
9 For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.
11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
12 They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.
14Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 “With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.”

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