What I Want My Kids to Learn from Me...Marriage

There's a reason the words are in this order...
Live, Laugh, Love

Never underestimate how hard marriage is. Yes, there are a lot of good times, but even those only come from the work that you put into the bad times. You know how you feel about your brother and sister some days? You will have those same feelings about your spouse too. They are in your space, they know too much about you, you have to compromise when you don't want to. That's why it is so important for you to learn now how to play with others. Make sure you marry your best friend, and make sure you play together every day. Learn how to be a team, to work together, to laugh at yourself and each other. It makes the hard times easier, and it makes you want to keep trying to get through them. Romance comes and goes, but friendship will last throughout the good times and the bad. It gives you someone to live your life with and to enjoy the little, everyday moments that seem so mundane. If you marry your best friend, you don't need a date night to connect with your spouse. If you marry your best friend, you will reconnect through every situation every single day. If you marry your best friend, life is fun and your family time is a party. Never underestimate the value of marrying your friend!

We sat in the stork, and 9 months later Maddox joined our family...
maybe there's more to the story than meets the eye

Don't try to plan out your lifestory, just live it while it happens. The most enjoyable moments in marriage are the ones that are unexpected. If you are busy trying to live your life by the bullet points you have set, you will miss out on what life really has in store for you. Be flexible, be willing to change your plans at a moments notice, and learn to go with the flow. Remember that you are not perfect, but never stop striving to be your best. The greatest freedom is learning to give up what you want in your life and allowing God to take control. Allow God to take your marriage and turn it into what he has planned. Allow Him to make the big decisions for you, and trust Him with it. He knows you better than you know yourself, and He wants great and wonderful things to come from your life. Don't settle for a marriage that the world sees as great, strive for a marriage that God sees as amazing. If you think God will do wonderful things with you, just imagine what He can do with the partnership you have formed with another person!

Every July 4, we go to a game together.
Marrying a baseball player, I rarely get to enjoy the game WITH him.
It's nice to connect doing something he loves and I love supporting!

Enrich your life together with traditions. There is nothing more important than forming lasting memories together. Make traditions that bring you closer together, give you time to get to know eachother better, and, most importantly, have fun. I hope that as I strive to form traditions with you, that you will enjoy them so much you want to use them with your own family. But never forget to make your own traditions. The traditions I make for us are important to me, so go ahead and make some traditions that are important to you. And if you could pass along my name, so I become the cool great-great grandma B, I'd appreciate it!

There's no better way to see the beauty of God's creation
than to enjoy it with the one He created for you to enjoy it with.

There's not one perfect person for everyone, until you're married. Don't ever settle for less than what you desire, but don't waste your life searching for the "perfect" person. No one is perfect, and even those who you think are, you will soon learn that they are not. When you find someone worthy to spend your life with and make the committment to each other, then that is when God's seal is placed on your life together, this is when they become "The One". When you make the vow to remain with each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, so long as you both shall live, mean it. It's not just words, and from that moment on, no matter what, you are meant to be together. Divorce is not an option. The hard times will come, but fight through them as if your life depends on it...because it does. And when you make it through, because if you both fight for it you will make it, you will be better together than you were before. Do not ever doubt the power God has to transform your marriage, I have seen it first hand. Do not ever doubt if this is the person you are meant to be with. There are no "what-ifs" or "if it were so-and-so" there is only now. You made the choice, so stick by it and do not back out, ever.

Nothing will prove how great of a team you really are than
children. Nothing will make you as strong of a couple as dedicating
yourselves to the common goal of raising a family together.

And if you are as lucky as we were, and God blesses you with children, dedicate your life to them. Recognize the fullness children bring to your family, how they bind you together, how they make you an even stronger team than you were before. I never even knew what true love was, until God gave you to us. Children change your entire life. They make the trials worth it, the future seems brighter, and they will reveal the nature of God to you more than you could ever imagine. Marriage is just the beginning, family is what happens when the dreams of marriage come to fruition. It may be hard, and it may not come easily, but it will be the most important thing you will ever do with your life if you chose to give your family over to God and dedicate your life to making that happen. Follow God's will for your family, for your children, and you will have the greatest impact on the world any person could ever have!

The 90th Day

It has been 90 days since I published my first post. 90 crazy days that included 50 days of harassment for my beliefs, 30 days of constant physical pain, 10 very hard things, and 1 call to do something entirely beyond myself. Here is an excerpt from the book I am writing to chronicle this experience, a call to write that I felt on day 60 of this journey,

"I guess I should have known from Day 1. That was the day I actually published my first post, the day I began getting harassed for my beliefs, the day I realized this wasn’t going to go the way I thought it would. That day changed my life in a very real and unexpected way. That day I wanted to shut down the blog before it even began, to just give in, to take the easy way out. Why I actually didn’t, I can’t say for sure. Hope maybe? But the lessons I learned those first few days, from a group of angry, misguided strangers, set the tone for the rest of my posts, and it was the opposite of what they wanted. But I know that it was exactly where God wanted me to be, and I know now He used them to do it. I should have known right then that there would be more to this journey than I ever imagined."

How I should have known... The truth is, what I have been going through these past 90 days is just the beginning of this journey. Have you ever felt like God was leading you somewhere? Has it ever been somewhere you were afraid to go? I should have known that very first day. Although, I guess that's one of the mysteries of how God operates. If I would have known, would I have even attempted this blog in the first place? Probably not. And I would still be in the same place I was 90 days ago. A place of comfort in my beliefs, a place of routine, a place that was bound to lead me to where I am now except I wouldn't have the great benefit of the things I have learned along the way with this blog. I knew from the beginning that this blog was more for me than anyone else, I just didn’t realize how much more. It was God’s way of speaking to me, leading me where He needed me to be and being able to use these things the way that He had purposed. I will continue to follow Him where He wants me to go…no matter how hard it may get…

The Start of a New Year!

Today is the end of 2011 and tomorrow begins 2012! God has been so good this year, not because everything in my life has always been good, but because God has always been there. To orchestrate every plan, to work it out for the good of His Kingdom even when it doesn't feel like it's for my own personal good, to bury me in His love and His grace even though it is the last thing I deserve and, sometimes, the last thing that I even want. To have a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to require greatness, who will bind my wounds no matter how painful and restore me to Him even when I try to turn away through my hurt. A God who became human to understand every single human emotion I face, and who did it all perfectly as an example to me. To have a God who sacrificed His very self to save me, a wretched sinner, because He still desires to be with me. For everything God has given me, even if I never received anything beyond my salvation, I owe Him my life.

I hope you were as encouraged in December as I was by the testimonies of others. The stories I was ale to share of trials, victory, and purpose. For the month of January I figured I would go the opposite direction and focus on myself. Although, I would never want to go back, and I'm definitely not one of those people who says "I wouldn't do anything differently" because, trust me, there's a lot that I would do differently if given the chance, I love taking the time to look back on my life. To see where I've been, and where I am now. To look back and have the opportunity to realize things that I never noticed before. So, in the month of January, the start of a new year, I will be taking a journey back. To remember where I was, so I can see where I am now. To look back on the good and the bad things that have brought me to where I am today. To take the time to examine the facric of my life and see exactly where it is that God has shown Himself. I hope you'll take this journey with me, and allow me some grace to talk a little (or a lot) about myself.

So here we go! Here is my story. A story of love, loss, mistakes, trials, and victories! Tomorrow is the first stop on my journey, my engagement story. As I celebrate the 5 year anniversary of the day I decided to spend the rest of my life with my husband I hope you will join me!