"I guess I should have known from Day 1. That was the day I actually published my first post, the day I began getting harassed for my beliefs, the day I realized this wasn’t going to go the way I thought it would. That day changed my life in a very real and unexpected way. That day I wanted to shut down the blog before it even began, to just give in, to take the easy way out. Why I actually didn’t, I can’t say for sure. Hope maybe? But the lessons I learned those first few days, from a group of angry, misguided strangers, set the tone for the rest of my posts, and it was the opposite of what they wanted. But I know that it was exactly where God wanted me to be, and I know now He used them to do it. I should have known right then that there would be more to this journey than I ever imagined."
How I should have known... The truth is, what I have been going through these past 90 days is just the beginning of this journey. Have you ever felt like God was leading you somewhere? Has it ever been somewhere you were afraid to go? I should have known that very first day. Although, I guess that's one of the mysteries of how God operates. If I would have known, would I have even attempted this blog in the first place? Probably not. And I would still be in the same place I was 90 days ago. A place of comfort in my beliefs, a place of routine, a place that was bound to lead me to where I am now except I wouldn't have the great benefit of the things I have learned along the way with this blog. I knew from the beginning that this blog was more for me than anyone else, I just didn’t realize how much more. It was God’s way of speaking to me, leading me where He needed me to be and being able to use these things the way that He had purposed. I will continue to follow Him where He wants me to go…no matter how hard it may get…
This is a beautiful testimony.
ReplyDeleteHolocaust survivor Victor Frankl said human beings can get through anything if they can find meaning in their suffering. I admire how you always look for meaning. That's how I know you will always be okay, no matter what.
I started reading your blog just after you went through that with critics. I'm glad you didn't shut it down, though I understand the temptation, but you have definitely grown through it, and it seems to have made you stronger. "Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19
A while back I watched the movie, The Rite. It is based on a true story. In the Hollywood version an agnostic Priest eventually becomes an exorcist. The whole time demons pushed and pushed until he eventually came to believe in God and then they finally left. I had an epiphany after watching that movie - that the purpose of adversity is to strengthen our Faith, or resolve - if one is secular. Now, I'm not comparing your critics to demons, just using that as a metaphor for adversity and how it actually serves us.
I too have been criticized for my faith. Since it has Christian and Buddist influences a lot of Christians where I live think that is wrong, but I feel like it is where God leads me so that does not matter anymore. At one time I took such things hard, though.
Thank you so much! I hope that by sharing my own hardships, that it will give others the ability to recognize the good things as well!
ReplyDeleteThat is a great comparison to the movie. Since most of the critics I had were atheists it surprisingly pushed me even more, made me realize that what I was saying was right if they were having such a negative reaction to it. So much of our life is a spiritual battle (something so widely seen in less developed countries, but rarely even considered here). If you go to places in Asia and Africa and see the demon possession and entire villages controlled by witchcraft then you see the physical aspect of God vs Satan. We're just not at that point in America, probably because we're too distracted by our material possessions to even notice any spiritual warfare.
I am so glad that you have been reading the blog, enjoying it, and noticing growth in me! That definitely makes it all worth it!
Wonderful insights! Keep up the great work. I love your header--so darling!
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