21 Days of Prayer for Sons

"Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer, pleading for your children..." Lamentations 2:19

Apparently mommies just don't understand the art of war

The first thing I remember thinking when I found out my first child was a boy was, "What a responsibility to raise up a man." The idea of raising my sons up to be godly men, to be leaders of their homes and businesses, to be world changers is an amazing responsibility. Especially in a society where men seem to be setting aside their responsibilities and where women are making men feel less "important" in their roles this is a particularly daunting task. Where do we begin? I don't know about you, but even though I was a total tomboy growing up I still don't "get" boys. Our brains are just so different!  In fact, just the other day my 4-year-old son caught me throwing away an army man that had been broken in half and said, "Don't throw away my half-a-man! How can I play soldiers without my half-a-man?" Well, I'm very sorry! I'm a girl and I thought it was entirely possible to play soldiers without a half-a-man. The idea that you would need actual casualties in the form of broken army men never crossed my mind. See what I mean, so different.

There are some things my hubby does way better than I do,
that doesn't mean I don't have to deal with "boy" things too

It helps so much to have a wonderful male influence in my husband, and sometimes it is so easy to just turn over everything "man" to him, but having a strong male influence in his life does not let me off the hook in my responsibilities. It started with changing his diapers as a baby. I was so afraid I would hurt his little "man parts" or that I was doing something wrong, and when it came time to potty train whoa, baby! I have no idea what to do with that thing! It was so easy to say, "You do it, you're a boy, y'all have the same parts." Anyone? Maybe it's just me. Anyway, I soon realized that my hubby was not going to be around all the time and I had to learn what I needed to do. The same comes with raising them up. My hubby is a great help and a wonderful resource, but I have to be a mom to my son and sometimes that means I have to deal with boy things.

These boys have a lot of living left to do

The most important thing I can do for my boys is turn them over to the hands of the Heavenly Father. He is the ultimate help when it comes to how our boys should be raised. He created us male and female; with different personalities, character traits, and responsibilities. He can help us to understand our boys hearts, their interests, their struggles, and their differences. Starting May 1 I will be joining up with over 800 moms of boys at the MOB Society to pray for our sons for the next 21 days. Grab your copy of Warrior Prayers (for only $3.99!) and join the moms over at MOB for 21 Days of Prayer for Sons! Even if you don't want to join in the challenge I highly recommend the book to any mom who is interested in learning how to pray specifically for her sons!

We need to pray fervently, specifically, intentionally, scripturally, and deeply for our sons. We need to pray because we can't do it all, we don't know all the answers, we are not in control.

Whom Shall I Fear

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7

As mothers there is one thing that seems to grip us from the moment we find out we are pregnant. It is there through our pregnancy, it is in the first moment we hold that baby in our arms, it is in the first moment our baby tries to do something on their own. It is not pride or joy, it is fear. It grips us so tightly that sometimes we can't even breathe. It holds us captive to everything it is that we want to do, to everything we wish we could do.

We've all had that gripping moment of panic. Our child disappears for a millisecond on the playground, our husband isn't answering his phone and he was supposed to be home thirty minutes ago, we're about to be apart from our baby for the first time. The world starts spinning, voices just mumble together, a step-by-step worst case scenario plays through our minds in alarming detail. Our child has been kidnapped and we will never see them again, our husband has been in a terrible accident and now we will be left to live our lives alone, something awful will happen to our baby while we are gone and there is nothing we can do about it. The fear grabs a hold of us and it seems almost impossible to escape it. It is irrational, it is unstoppable, it is torturous.

Well, I will ask a question that was posed to me today: What is your biggest fear? Mine is that something will happen to my husband, to my children, that I will lose my family. So what if that happens? I will be devastated. Then what? I will probably not be able to breathe, not be able to stop crying, not be able to even get out of bed. Then what? I will miss them every single second of every single day. I will be useless. I will have no purpose. I don't know how I would be able to go on living. Then what? I'll probably lose all of my friends because I won't even want to talk to anyone. I'll push away my extended family. Then what? Well, I guess I couldn't continue that forever. So, eventually, no matter how long it takes, I will have to pick myself up, figure out what it is I need to do now, and keep going. What eternal result does this worst case scenario have on your life? None, in the end God is still God, life still happens, and I am not the one in control.

Yes, fear is a tormentor, a ruiner of lives. I would even argue that fear is even more powerful than the actual thing we are fearing. I've heard that fear is the guard that keeps watch over our idols. How in your face is that? In those times I fear harm coming to my children it is because I am placing my feelings for them above God. I am forgetting that they are God's children, that He holds them in the palm of His hand, the He has the ultimate good in mind. Whenever I see fear in my life, it is a red flag that I need to cast it out and examine what idol it is guarding. I need to make sure I am keeping the proper perspective, the proper priorities. Fear is not a sign of love, a sign of caring. Fear cannot be equated with those things or we will destroy the very relationship we are trying to protect.

Psalm 91: Security of the One Who Trusts in the LORD.

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
³ For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

⁵ You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
⁶ Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you. ⁸ You will only look on with your eyes
And see the recompense of the wicked.
⁹ For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
¹⁰ No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

¹¹ For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
¹² They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.

¹⁴ “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
¹⁵ “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
¹⁶ “With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.”

Look What Mercy's Overcome

I praise God every day for the opportunities I have been given, for the blessings I have received, for the path my life has taken. I praise Him that I have found a passion in my life that many don't, that I have found a love that many seek after and never find, that I have understood the purpose of a life lived for Him. I am endlessly reminded that everything that brings me joy, that brings me love, that brings me purpose, would not exist had it not have been for the resurrection. I could dedicate my life to the Lord, but my dedication would be in vain if it weren't for the saving grace of His victory over death. 

Adoption Loss and Pressing Forward

When I began having major health issues in November, when I was scared and couldn't seem to find any answers, Heather was there for me. Although since then my health has gotten drastically worse, then better, then worse, then better, and we still don't have any answers, I can still look at it and see the good that is coming out of it. My relationship with Heather is one of those things. Those who know me know that we have been working on multiple garage sales for a local family these past few weeks, you have seen my Facebook posts about our attempts to raise funding for a family seeking adoption, you have had to endure the endless questions of "Does anyone have anything to give?" Well, this is why.



UPDATE: The Thursday after this was posted (on Heather's birthday to be exact!) Heather and Juan got a call about a newborn who needed to be placed in a foster home with a possible need for adoption. Please continue to pray for them through this and praise God for bringing this precious baby into their lives even if God decides they are not to be her forever home.

Taking Our City Back



These girls represent the true life stories of the victims of Human Trafficking.
These are not statistics, not numbers, these are real women and children.
 I may not be able to save the 27 million in slavery around the world,
but I can still make a difference. I can still save some.

I keep hearing how hard it is to truly believe human trafficking is happening here in the United States. I don't blame anyone. The statistics are mind-blowing, the information is so hard to even comprehend at times. We are taught to believe that there is good in everyone, we are not prepared to come across the true evil of this world, to see it for what it really is. Had I not met victims face-to-face and heard their stories, I don't know if I would be able to see the truth beyond the statistics either. The truth is that these are real people, with real faces, and real names. Each has a very real story and for each one that is saved there are thousands more that will never be rescued.

If you have trouble putting faces to the names, the next time you have 30 minutes to spare watch the video from the Passion 2012 conference to hear three victims sharing their own stories in their own words.

Because they are all foreign victims I feel like it is important to also share the story of a victim from right here in the U.S. Here is the true story of Ave [not her real name]. Ave lived with an abusive father who sexually molested and physically abused her. When she was nine years old, her father dropped her off for a visit with a relative and never came back. For two years she lived with various relatives, mostly an aunt, in New York City. She did not attend school and was physically abused by her aunt and her aunt's boyfriend. She ended up staying at a street children's shelter at the age of 11. Outside the shelter, she met a man who said he would take care of her. He became her trafficker for prostitution. He brought her to Miami where she was arrested. Back in New York City she was arrested again and charged with prostitution when she was 12 years old. The prosecutors in New York City wanted to send her to a juvenile detention center where she would be imprisoned for her crime. Her defense attorney sought placement for her where she could get the care and counseling she needed to recover from the violence and abuse she had endured. Such places are rare in the United States, so she ended up in a residential center for emotionally disturbed youth. Lucky for Ave, she also received counseling from one of the few specialized organizations that work with sexually exploited children.

Former Congress Woman Linda Smith, founder of
Shared Hope International, speaking at the Faces of Hope Gala
Commending Louisiana's HB 49. 

So what is being done to help these victims? Not only is awareness being raised among churches, but it's being made among the officials. Former Congress Woman Linda Smith did an evaluation of Louisiana laws based on the laws in other states and their impacts on the human trafficking industry. In most cases the laws protect the criminals and punish the victims when it comes to cases of human trafficking, and there is no help available to victims especially once they reach a certain age. Recently a Bill has been passed to committee changing these laws. HB 49 is a vital step when it comes to legally protecting victims and prosecuting the pimps and handlers.

As was mentioned in the story of Ave, housing for the victims of human trafficking is very rare, and there is none available in the south. These victims require extensive medical care and high levels of protection. It is just not a possibility to set these women up in hotels or apartments once they are rescued. Thanks to Trafficking Hope this will hopefully be made a reality for us very, very soon. In fact, the mission of the gala last night was to raise funding for the home that is trying to be opened for these victims. Changing the laws and providing shelter for the victims who are rescued are the two major things that need to be done in order to deal with the existing issues of human trafficking, and both of those things are being done!

We can take the world back from human trafficking
on city at a time...
I'm here to take my city back!

There is no doubt that things are getting done, but it is still the beginning. We have got to continue to follow through with all of this, not to become weary of doing good. We have got to tackle this issue from all sides, and to always stay on our toes. The #1 thing we need to continue to do is to raise up men who respect women, and women who respect themselves. If we can do that, we can choke out the human trafficking industry from the outside in. If we cut off the demand there will be no need for the supply, if we cut off the supply they will have to go elsewhere for the demand. There are many different aspects to the human trafficking industry, but the main thing to remember is that it is a business. And we are here to drive them out of that business.

Why You Should RESPECT The SAHM

We are financial wizards. Anyone who throws out the argument that stay at home moms do it out of an abundance of financial blessing has probably A) never met a stay at home mom beyond the streets of Manhattan and B) has never tried to raise a family on one income, no matter how "generous" that income may appear. Despite the fact that my father's income is easily 5x that of my husband's I watched as my mom clipped coupons, as they took simpler vacations, as they lived in a nice yet modest home. They may not have to make the "drastic" sacrifices my husband and I have to make, but I certainly do not underestimate the cost of these sacrifices to them. Stay at home moms are savvy, smart business women who manage their homes more efficiently than most larger companies and *cough* the government have been able to do.

We buy used, we swap with other moms, we grow our own food, we sew our own clothes, we school our own children, we decorate our own homes, we plan our own parties, we make all our own meals, the list goes on and on. Now I am well aware that not every single stay at home mom does every single one of these things. But in the areas we don't do it ourselves we still find smart and money conscious ways to get it done. We are more on top of economic and environmental problems than any large business. We are self-sufficient leaders of our villages and we will be able to survive off the grid if needed.


We are growing healthy, happy, well rounded children. We pay attention to everything that is being poured into our children. We make sure they get the best nutrition, are well-educated, and that their social calenders are well-rounded. We can recognize illness like any medical professional and we can recognize changes in mood or emotional damage easier than any psychologist. We may not have a degree, but we are specialists in people and what it takes to grow them and to grow them right. We don't need anyone else to tell us about our children because we know our children better than anyone. We don't need "specialists" to teach us any preventative measures to make sure our children are healthy and happy, that is our job, that is what we do every single day.

We don't sit on the couch all day watching soaps while the kids lay around in sugar comas or are locked in their rooms. We also don't spend every hour of every day cleaning our house to spotless perfection while are children sit in front of the electronic babysitter watching videos designed to make them smarter. In fact, if I get to sit down at all in a day it is a miracle. We can go from the library to the park to the zoo to a playdate all in the span of one day. Our children are learning in the time they spend with us, they are playing in the time they spend with us, they are enjoying the time they spend with us. We are teachers, we are best friends, we are mommies.

We spend ninety hours a week nurturing little humans to grow into mature, responsible, loving, successful adults. We raise future doctors, lawyers, and teachers. We raise future mommies and daddies and grandmas and grandpas. We raise children who respect authority because we have provided them an authority to respect. We raise children that are confident because we have shown them they are worth more than anything else in the world to us, that are self-sufficient because we have modeled it for them, that are free thinkers because they see us having to go against the grain each and every day. We raise inventors, scientists, chefs, zookeepers. We raise children who feel like they can be and do anything that they want to do because they see us doing what it is that we want to do each and every day.

We don't pour 40 hours a week into some company that has no personal relationship to our lives. We don't have a job that just pays the bills. We pour each and every hour of each and every day into a job that can change the world one tiny human at a time. Ninety hours is a modest estimate of the amount of hours we work during the week. We don't get lunch breaks, we don't get vacation days, we don't get sick days, and we don't complain about that. We don't live life for the weekend, we live life for each day and we actually enjoy it.

A Letter to my Miracle

My Dearest Baby Boy,

Each and every one of you have been a miracle to me in one way or another. You each have an amazing story surrounding your birth, but if I ever doubted that it was just coincidence or good luck you proved me wrong. At the time we found out we were pregnant with you I was on the strongest form of birth control possible. Not because we didn't want more children. In fact, we wanted them more than anything, but we had gotten to the point where we believed we could not have any more children. My health issues were causing me so much pain, there was doubt if I even could carry a baby successfully, and the thought of creating a life that I could not carry was too much to bear. We decided a hysterectomy was the best option for me and we were preparing for the surgery that would make it impossible for me to ever carry another life in my womb. I was on birth control to prevent pregnancy before the surgery as we made our final decision, and when we reached the decision to go ahead I prepared to call the doctor never imagining that the surgery would be impossible because there was already another life that had taken up residency in my womb.

I cried when I found out I was pregnant. I was so overjoyed, but the confusion was hard for me to grasp. When you reach a decision that you feel the Lord has called you to, that you feel is the absolute best, and He leads you in the opposite direction it takes some adjusting. Your father was so overjoyed when I told him the news that every single doubt I had was erased. It is not that I never wanted you, but I was so scared for you. I had come to believe that it would be hard for me to carry a child, and I was so afraid for your precious life. I had come to a point where I was comfortable with having only two children, and the thought of having three babies under three was scary. I didn't know if I could do it. Of course during that very first ultrasound, when I saw your body (there was not even a heartbeat yet and you were barely even formed since I was only 5 weeks pregnant) the Lord gave me peace that I had never known. He gave me assurance that I could do not only a good job with three of you, but that I could do the best job.

A few weeks later I began bleeding a lot. At that point I lost all hope, I questioned God's plan in all of this because I just couldn't understand why any of this would be happening. They did several ultrasounds and I loved seeing you each time, but during an early one we couldn't even find a heartbeat for the first five minutes and after that I was too afraid to even look at the screen until they found your heartbeat. I blamed myself, this body that has turned against me. I was so sorry that I was not able to provide you the life you needed to survive, but God provided because this body that shouldn't have been able to carry life, did.

Although you had survived they determined that the placenta had attached to my uterus. This is not an uncommon thing, but happening in the first trimester meant that it would probably continue to get worse. I researched exactly what it is that we needed to do. There was talk of a cesarean delivery with a hysterectomy immediately following. It was something most women would feel is the end of the world, but because I had already prepared myself mentally for a hysterectomy I was ready. The problems came when I learned of the risks of a birth with this problem. The chance that I may not survive the delivery. I spent every night for weeks crying in the shower so no one could hear me. I would just cry out to God. I had no words. I have learned not to pray that God will or won't do something the way I want it, but only to pray that He would just do His will. I had to accept that whatever happened would truly be for the best. I never reached that point though.

At my twenty week ultrasound, I was so excited to find out if you were a boy or a girl. You were the only baby I had "named" before I even knew. I had already begun to call you "Kason" when I spoke to you. I wondered what I would do if you were a girl, and if "Kason" worked as a girl name as well. The first miracle was that you were a boy. I was positive Maddox was a girl, and that Eden was a boy. Given my record, and the fact that I had already "named" you I was very scared that for sure you were going to be a girl. I cried with joy that you were a boy! I just loved the name we had given you. It was actually one your brother chose for you. I had never even heard the name before, and one day I asked Maddox, "What should we name the baby?" He looked at my belly and very quickly said, "Mommy, that is baby Kason." It stuck and it was perfect! This may not seem like such a "miracle", but it was for me. The second miracle was truly, by any standards, a miracle. The placenta previa

You were perfect, you were healthy, you were big. From the moment I held you in my arms I just felt all of the miracles surrounding you filling up the room. Your brother brought restoration, your sister brought strength, you brought miracles. You have also given us hope for more children in the future, and I will always hold a special place in my heart for God's precious surprise that He gave us in you. From the moment you were born I felt the same amazingly great love I felt for your brother and your sister. The fact that love is never divided, but that it just continues to grow takes my breath away every single time. I pray that one day you will feel this multiplying love in your own life. I pray that you will understand the thanks I have that you brought that again into my life, and that you brought hope for that again in the future.

A Letter to my Daughter

My Sweet Girl,

I have always said I wanted a strong-willed daughter. That way I knew I wouldn't have to worry about anyone convincing her to do something she didn't want to do. I suppose it was God preparing my heart for you. I absolutely love you, my firecracker. I know that sometimes it does make it harder, but I wouldn't trade your spirit for anything in the world. I love the fact that your daddy can handle you perfectly, although with all the practice he has handling me there's really no surprise. The fire that God placed in you will be used for great things, I just know it. Don't ever allow anyone to tell you that it's not good, that you should try to change, that you should conform to who other people want you to be. Sometimes in the moment, I may wish you were more "obedient" or "cooperative", but I know that I am to raise you up as an independent woman who is strong in her values and you are already farther on that journey than most even though you are only two years old.

Your thirst for knowledge reminds me so much of myself. I love that you want me to read to you for hours, and know that no matter how old you get, I will still want to read with you. I'm so blessed that you share my passion for books and for learning, and I can't wait to see where it will take you. Never stop learning. No matter how much you think you know, you will never reach the point where you know it all, so never stop searching for answers, for the truth. Wisdom is the greatest thing you can ever gain, but don't mistake knowledge and wisdom as the same thing. Make sure you are dedicating your life to the right one.

You are the smartest two year old I know. Don't let anyone lead you to believe that there is nothing behind that beautiful blonde hair and those big blue eyes. Being beautiful does not mean that a woman cannot be intelligent as well. Remember to always keep a balance between the two of them. Don't ever underestimate the power of your beauty and never use that for your advantage. God can use you for amazing things, but not if  you let your pride stand in your own way. God gave you your beauty for a reason, don't ever believe that it makes you any better or any worse than anyone else.

There are days when I look at you and I swear I can see the woman you will become. I pray for the man you will one day meet. I pray that you two will both seek out only each other, and that you will each be able to present yourselves perfectly to the other. I pray that God is preparing him for you, that God is preparing his family for you, and that God is preparing us for him. My greatest prayer is that your father and I can model to you what a godly relationship looks like, that your father can provide you an image of a man that you will long to seek after, but one that will be hard to find.

Never stop singing and never stop dancing. Continue to live your life like it is a musical. Always keep a song in your heart and a swing in your steps, and if life gets a little tough don't be afraid to just let it all out. Never stop asking me to sing with you, never stop asking your father to dance with you. No matter how old you get, I hope that there is no one you would rather sing and dance with more than us.

I want to be your best friend, even if sometimes I have to be the bad guy. I promise that I will always look out for you and what is best for you. I am not trying to just make you do what I want you to do or become who I want you to be. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to lead you as He calls me to, that He will give me the ability to raise you up the way He wants, not the way I want. I will always support your dreams, never be afraid to share them with me. No matter how silly you may think they are or how unattainable they may seem, I will do everything I can to help you achieve them.

Please listen to my advice and know that I don't give it lightly. Believe it or not, I have been where you are and there is nothing that you are going to go through that has not effected me in one way or another. I know the hurt of failed love, the sting of betrayal, the pain of loneliness. I know failure, I've had crushed dreams, I've felt the disappointment. I have been tempted, I have given in and I have remained strong. No matter where you are, I have been there too. I want to share with you my advice not to prove I am smarter than you, but because if there is one thing I want to do more than anything it is spare you pain. And if I can spare you even the tiniest bit of pain because of my own experiences then it makes all of them worth it.

A Letter to my Son

I was not planning on sharing my letters on the blog, but I feel led to use this month to share some of these...starting with the very first one I wrote.

My Dear Son,

Four years ago you made me a mommy. I cannot even believe how quickly it has already gone, and I now understand why every mother is so quick to tell you to, "Cherish every moment because it goes by too fast." I never dreamed I would have you. Well, at one point long ago I did, but that dream was taken away from me when I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 17. My dream was shattered that day, my heart broken. Then, when I had reached a place in my life where I had accepted the cards that had been dealt to me you came along. From the very first moment I even saw your tiny little body on the ultrasound screen, the size of a little bean yet still perfect, I found a love stronger than any love that I had ever known existed. A love for someone I had never met, a love for someone who everyone kept telling me wasn't even a "someone" yet.

By this point you had already saved my life. If it weren't for you, I may have never known about the cervical cancer that was forming in my body. It wasn't until my very first appointment with the doctor to check on you that they found it. There were tests and talks of what we would do after you were born, but with your birth the cells were cleansed from my body. So many miraculous things have surrounded you from the days before you were even born, my love. You were snuggled safely in my womb as your father and I tracked down your Uncle Brian. I will save that story for your father to tell you, but I remember crying and telling you how amazing it was that you had no idea what you had already witnessed in your short little lifetime. That was the day your father realized that there really was a God, and that He really did have a plan.

Restoration has followed you all of your life. My health was restored, your father's family was restored, and even you were restored. I know you will not remember the first years of your life (although sometimes I do wonder since your memory is absolutely amazing). From the moment I held you that first time in my arms I knew that you had autism. Mother's intuition, God's leading, paranoia, I've been told it was many, many things, but I know it was just because of the bond that was already between us. With your diagnosis came a despair I was not prepared for, but soon after I found a hope like I had never known as we watched you overcome the impossible.

You, my son, are an amazing person. From the very moment God knit you together in my womb He had amazing plans for you. Some of those plans have already been fulfilled, but many, many of them have not. Never forget, my angel, that you are special. Never forget that you are amazing. I will never forget, and forgive me for the times I seem a little too pushy. Know that everything I do is just to make sure that you realize your purpose. I do not know what the future holds for you. I already know that in your short four years on Earth you have done amazingly more with your life than most. Never lose your precious heart. Every time you say your "Our Father" or ask me to pray for someone you love or to pray for the ambulance that passed by, I can just feel the joy our Heavenly Father has for you. You have taught me more than I could have ever imagined. My only prayer is that I can teach you as well.

Letters of Love

I often dream of the conversations I will have with my children when they are older. I long to have them run to me when their little hearts are broken, I pray that my hugs will always be able to heal their pain at least a little, and I try to remember exactly how I felt at whatever age they are. I have decided that I need to begin a journal of these letters for my children. Not for any morbid reason, like failing health, but simply because I worry that in the moment I may forget just how important my first love was, or how I felt when everyone else was shaving their legs and I couldn't, or the pain of betrayal of a friend that I now know really wasn't all that great of a friend in the first place. I always said, "I would never handle it the way my mother did." But daily I am reminded of how natural her reaction was, I know that it was just an "adult mind" that had forgotten exactly what it was like to be young and still tender.

Although I can pray and try my hardest not to react like that, I know that sometimes I will. I want to make sure that if I mess up in the moment that they will still know the message that has been in my heart all of these years. I long for them to know as teenagers and as adults that this is something that has been developing since they were born. That in the very first moment I saw their tiny bodies on the ultrasound screen I loved them, that the very first time I felt their kick I desired to be their mother, that the very first time I held them in my arms I had already vowed to do whatever it takes to protect them. I want them to know just how strong these feelings are. That no friend, no teacher, no pastor, no one else that they may feel is more influential in their life than I am at that moment has never and will never care about them as much as I do. As I begin these letters I am praying over each and every one. I pray that the words will be understood, that even if they don't want to talk to me face-to-face at times that the words on the page will be alive to them. I want them to truly know that I do understand, that I don't take their feelings or circumstances lightly.

I've begun to realize just how important it is to begin planning for their future. Planning for the days when I'm not the most important person in their life, planning for the days when someone else seems so much smarter than just their "old mom who has to say that", planning for the children they will become one day. I must plan a little because when the time comes if I haven't been planning I will miss out on the opportunities. There is a little box I am making that I stole from a friend. She has a beautiful recipe box filled with recipe cards, not of recipes for meals, but recipes for life. In her box are hundreds of Scriptures written out and categorized. Her children know when they are struggling with someting to go to the box and find a Scripture that deals with that issue. Right now is when I must begin planning for this. I must start before life gets in the way and it never gets done, before my children become too "old" for that sort of thing, or before I miss the opportunity altogether.

Since my son was born four years ago, I have had a strong desire to make traditions. Growing up we did not have any, and it is a longing that I have had since day one for my own family. But I've recently come to realize exactly why these traditions are so important to me. If I do not start making traditions now with my family then we will never have traditions. If I don't start doing the things with them that I want to do when they're older then we will never do it. Eventually, these things that I long to do but have not done already will just become awkward. It will never be the perfect moment, my children will never bring it up, or I'll never be "prepared". So, bypassing all of the things that can hinder my relationship from ever forming, from ever growing, from ever blossoming, I will start that relationship now.

I remember when Maddox was only a year old. I would find all of these super fun things to do with him when he was two or three, always so upset that there was nothing to do with him when he was one. I would store it away in my mind to remember for when he was older, but I don't know how many of those things we have actually done because I don't really remember them. Not only was I missing out on the things I could do with him then, but because I didn't properly prepare for the future I missed out on that as well. Granted, remembering a certain game or museum isn't the end of the world. We still did plenty of fun things together, but how many of our days were spent with me wasting time trying to figure out what to do that day? How many future conversations will be missed because I haven't prepared for them and I need time to think of my answers? How many opportunities to share Scripture with my children will be lost because I can't remember exactly where that verse is? These are the two most important things about my relationship with my children, so these are the two things that I am beginning now.

Thankful for Brokenness and Resurrected Life

Strangely, in November I found myself focusing on Christ's death as I celebrated a Gracious Thanksgiving. To have celebrated an event that I have always associated only with the resurrection at Easter completely changed my perspective. Yes, Christ's death obviously has an impact on my every day life, on my personal views, but to say that I had ever truly "celebrated" His actual death would be a lie. The truth is that I had never even began to search out the absolute pain that was associated with the ultimate purpose of His resurrection.

To have found myself celebrating death at a time that is usually associated with blessings was definitely something that caught me off guard. This new perspective was brought about by a month of journeying through trials. Finding myself thankful for trials of adoption, of tragedy, of illness, of our struggle with autism. I was counting out my blessings each day, and found myself the most thankful for the not-so-pretty things of my life.

I realized that the harder things got, the farther I felt from God, the more confused I was, that was the more God showed up, the more He proved Himself to be real.

This led me to being thankful for the History's absolute hardest thing. Christ's death. This morning as I was leading an amazing morning of worship, looking at so many faces full of so many emotions, my heart was focused on the true reason His death was such an amazing blessing. The fact that Jesus was led as a lamb to the slaughter on my behalf, knowing that he was despised, rejected, tormented, and that ultimately his very breath left his body all because of me is not the end.

Three days later Christ arose. Not only proving He was who He claimed to be (Romans 1:4), not only proving He did what He said He would do (Romans 5:9-10), but ultimately conquering death and giving us the ultimate hope (I Corinthians 15:13-14). The resurrection is what sets Christianity apart from everything else. Because of the resurrection my faith is not in vain, my life is filled with purpose, because I know I serve a living God.

"As if til now, I've never lived. All that I've done before won't matter anymore. I've just seen Jesus, and I'll never be the same again."

 

God, I praise you for the sacrifice of your son's atoning blood shed that I might live in communion with you. I praise you that I am no longer separated by my own fleshly weaknesses, but that I have been brought to redemption through your grace. I praise you that I have hope and joy despite my circumstances, and the power to overcome all things. Lord, there is nothing I could ever say or do that would repay even a portion of what you have done for me. Even if I live out my entire life choosing your will in all things, it will never be enough. I praise you that you do not hold a debt against me knowing that I can never repay it. I praise you because you have paid it all, and all to you I owe. "Were the whole realm of nature mine, That were an offering far too small; Love so amazing, so divine, Demands my soul, my life, my all." Take my life, every broken piece of it, as an offering unto you. I choose to live every moment unto you. Amen.

Three Someones

I felt like I needed to close out the month in the same way I began...focused on a call to passion that I believe God is stirring up in His people. I've heard it said that when it comes to human trafficking, the church is actually ahead of the game. I pray that we are because in all actuality that is the only way something is going to be done about it. There are 27 million people in slavery worldwide...each of them is somebody's someone. Here are three of those someones. For the next 37 minutes get to know their faces, their stories, their words. Then join me in 72 days of prayer for freedom. We are praying for 72 days for 27 million people. Go here to see the daily prayer points for these 72 days. Because it began with the Passion conference, the dates are set, but you can cross them off and start today, April 1, as Day 1.

Over the course of this month, God has been stirring a passion in my spirit for human trafficking. In fact, tomorrow and the day after I will be hosting Pinterest parties for Trafficking Hope. All of the items made will be donated to the silent auction we are holding on April 21 to raise money for a home for girls rescued from this industry. I've actually met some who have been rescued, and am praying about whether or not God is calling me to actually be involved on a much deeper level than I ever would have imagined when it comes to these victims. I don't know what the future holds for me when it comes to this new ministry opportunity, but I do know that I don't have to wait to know the exact details to begin to make a difference. We ALL are involved in one way or another. We are raising up the next generation, and that is where it all begins. I urge you to pray with me about human trafficking not only around the world, but in your own city. Get informed about how this is impacting your own backyard. The victims in this video are all from foreign lands, but make no mistake, you could have a slave living right next door...

Passion in Marriage...and it's not what you think...

Imagine with me for just one minute what your idea of the "perfect" Christian couple is. If you grew up in the church like me, your idea probably looks something like this...the husband and wife missionary team who travels to foreign lands teaching together, standing strong together, being amazing together, and bringing their children along for the journey. Or maybe it's the husband and wife team who lead a Bible study together each providing the perfect balance for everyone in attendance making them the perfect teaching duo. Or maybe it's the husband who preaches every Sunday with his beautiful, faithful wife sitting on the front row smiling up in pride at him knowing that she is his supporter. In every single scenario I always imagined of the "perfect" couple there was a theme...togetherness. I always imagined that the perfect Christian couple ministered together. That God brings two people together, instills in them a united passion, and grants them the opportunity to live out their calling side-by-side.

What happens when, like most of the Christian world, you marry someone who has a different idea of ministry than you do? What are you supposed to do when after you are married God instills in your spouse a passion for international missions and instills in you a call to your home city? Do you need to fall on your knees and pray because obviously something has gone very, very wrong and one of you is not hearing the Lord speaking clearly? Despite how it may feel, it does not make us any less of an amazingly godly couple just because we are called to different passions, because we feel like God has not granted us a "united" ministry front. Yes, God does call some couples to service together, and He calls all of us to support eachother, but for most of us our ministry is still a very personal and separate calling even after we are married.

It does not seem as glamorous to have your husband traveling to foreign lands while you stay home with the children. It doesn't seem as "important" to lead a woman's Bible study while your husband is running a homeless ministry that you feel no call to. What does it say about us, our lives together, our love for eachother, when we don't even share the same passions? If we don't even feel passionate about the same ministry then surely we cannot be as "great" of a couple as we had previously thought. Surely we are not one of these Christian power-couples we desperately desire to be. Oh, sweet wives, the devil is so alive in that thought. It is a thought that has taken me so long to break through, and the freedom that has come from breaking free from this ideal image is truly amazing.

How I wish more churches would teach us the truth about God's calling, the truth about passion. Husbands and wives although bonded together by the Lord, are still very different people with very different backgrounds and very different interests. Even if on the surface you seem to have a lot in common, the direction that our passion can take us can seem to be a million miles apart. After my husband and I were married I noticed one very large difference. Ok, well I knew we had this difference, but I always thought that when we got married God would magically give us the same passion and we would work together in it. That this difference would come together for our "ministry".

My husband is very, very quiet. He is shy, laid back, not serious at all, and does not feel comfortable carrying on a long conversation. And here I am...Miss Exclamation Point!!! My entire life is like this !!!!!!!!!!!!! I am excited all the time, love to talk about anything and everything, the complete opposite of laid back and I take everything very, very seriously. It works out so perfectly for us as a couple and our marriage has benefited greatly from these differences in more ways than I ever could have imagined. But what hasn't benefited is this imaginary ministry life that I had planned for us.

I have always felt a call to ministry. Always. When I was in seventh grade, I went before my church and announced that I would be going into missions. I had no idea what that meant at the time, and it took a long time for me to get past the idea of this "mission calling" and start just living. Living my life as if every single moment is a calling. Living my life as if every single person put before me was someone to wittness to (although I still struggle with that...which is surprising given how outspoken I truly am). When presented with any ministry opportunity I am all in, in fact I seek out these opportunities. It is just my heart, it always has been. I am a teacher and an encourager. I may not have the gifts of helps or hospitality or healing, but I can lead in a way that has always been an undeniable gift from the Lord. Even as a middle schooler I had already begun leading and teaching others. Well, my husband has such a teacher spirit, so I automatically assumed this meant God would be calling us to like-minded ministry. Given these "power-couples" I had grown up around I always pictured that was what it looked like when God had placed a call on your life, and I knew that as Christians we both had a call.

The funny thing is, I have begun to meet the most amazing godly couples that have completely changed my view of how passion in ministry can look in a marriage. Having passion for different areas is not a weakness, it does not say anything about your life together or your spiritual life. You see, I always felt that if a couple was on the same page spiritually then God would bring them to the same place. And by same place, I felt that meant the same ministry. Some of the most amazing foreign missionaries I know go alone, while their spouse stays behind. Some of the most amazing teachers have husbands or wives who would never get up in front of a crowd to save their life. I know women who have passion for issues that their husbands have no desire to be involved in. These spouses don't stay home from mission trips or steer clear of these opportunities because they don't care about them, or even because they are "not in the same place spiritually" as their spouse, they just have different calls of passion.

So if you are like me, and many, many other Christian couples who have different passions in ministry don't let it make you feel like you are any less of a couple, or that your passion is any less important. I am called to women's ministry, to moms, to teaching. Oh, how much easier it would be if my husband felt called to men's ministry, to fathers, to teaching. We could do it together, side-by-side, and look so cute while we do it of course. But the fact of the matter is my husband, no matter how much I could try to "convince" him, just doesn't have this passion. His passion does not go hand-in-hand with mine. In fact, he's not yet felt called to ministry at all. But you know what we are called to as a couple? We each are called to the passions that God has placed in us and to support those calls in eachother. Not everyone is called to ministry, and those of us who are should support those who aren't. He is called as my husband to support me where God is leading me and he does, oh, yes, he absolutely does. I am called as his wife to support where God is leading him and I absolutely do.

In times when our passions seem to be in conflict with eachother we need to take a step back and try to see the way in which they can work together. We need to be able to each follow our own passions in marriage without our relationship feeling threatened. We need to be able to answer the ministry calls God has placed on us without any fear. We need to maybe reevaluate the idea of what passion looks like in a marriage. Different passions towards ministry does not represent weakness in us as a couple, and it certainly doesn't represent weakness in us spiritually. Instead it represents our strengths in the way God can use us best, and as spouses we should be able to see and encourage those differences as well.

Passion for Mommy Teachers

We have been exploring passion and just how wide of a range there is in what we can be passionate about. I absolutely love that about passion. We each have our own calling, our own "specialty", and all of it knits together perfectly for the good of society as a whole. As always, I love guest posting on my friend Jessica's blog. Jessica has a great mommy passion: teaching! She is passionate about teaching children, and recently discovered that she is mostly passionate about teaching other mommies how to teach their children. Her mission is making sure every parent is their child's favorite teacher, and she would love to see every mommy instilling in her children the life-long gift of learning. Whether your child is in a clasroom setting or you school at home, our job as teachers never takes a backseat.

Life is all about learning. It is a never ending journey, a journey that has no limits to how far we can go. We are the ones who make the boundaries of learning, and we can make them as narrow or as wide as we would like them to be. I choose to make my boundaries wide, and I hope I can teach my children to do the same. Today, I am sharing on her site how to take an ordinary, every day moment and turn it into a great opportunity. After all, I'm trying to turn this ordinary responsibility into an extraordinary opportunity!

Join me for my "Real Life Lesson" at The Mommy Teacher!

Testimonies for Passion

Ironically, Thanksgiving was a time for me to reflect on the hard things. The strange thing that came out of all of these testimonies of trials was the pure joy that was found in all of them. Rising above our circumstances, remembering the calling through those times, becoming restored because of it all. We each have our stories, we each have that moment (or moments) in our lives where we can go one of two ways. We hope and we pray that by sharing our trials, by sharing our stories, that we can catch someone before their trial, that we can catch them in the midst of it, that we can catch them before they make the decision to go the wrong way. We pray that we can teach the lessons that we were only able to learn in our pain. We are passionate to share these lessons, passionate for people to understand, passionate because God has given us the ability to see that all things work together for good. We are passionate for people because we are those "people". We are all broken, imperfect people trying to help other broken, imperfect people. We are all trying to live extraordinary lives while in the midst of ordinary circumstances. We are passionate for life, passionate for others, passionate for God, because somewhere along the way something happened that reminded us that we cannot live our lives lacking passion.

A dear friend of mine shares her amazing story about a moment in life when God became real to her. It's moments like this that remind us why we are passionate for life.


Grow Up - Christine testimony from Istrouma Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Created for Action

The sum of our faith is only as great as the sum of our works simply because faith in and of itself simply does. There is a reason passion acts. There is a reason the passion of Christians acts the most.The simple nature of faith is that it cannot remain inactive. It must work.

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

We were created to act, created to do good works. We are the hands and feet of God, we are His messengers, we are the way in which others come to know Christ. If we were created only for salvation, why is it then that we are not taken up into Heaven right after? We have all heard that if you are still breathing, you still have work to do. What is that work? We are called to the works of Christ.  All of this wraps up simply into the reason we do good is because of our faith. Because God has created us and called us to do these works. Passion acts, because passion is the heart of God moving the heart of His people toward the things that grieve Him. Doing works becomes natural when our heart of stone is replaced with the heart of God because the heart of God never stops acting.

Our actions do good because as a Christian the fruits of our Spirit are produced in what we do. The fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control are left as a trail behind us leading others to follow in that direction. The more we follow after God and walk in Him, the more the fruits will be produced.

The more we bring the passion God has placed in us into our family and to global social issues and to our careers and to our friendships, the more action we will do for those causes. The more action we do the more fruits will be produced. The more fruits that are produced the more change can happen. Passion is the seed that leads to change. The seed that grows fruit, the fruit that brings revolution, the revolution that brings life. This happens simply because we were created for action. Just like our faith, our passion cannot remain inactive. It must simply do. We must and we will simply do.



Passion's Weakness

On my journey of passion I've talked about the revolution that can be brought about by passion, a specific cause in which passion can make a difference, I've unintentionally showed how our emotions can negatively impact a cause by spreading the wrong information, and I shared passion's purpose. That all leads into what I have been thinking about these last few days...the Achille's heel.

It began with the Kony video. A small spark of the "hop on the bandwagon" movement. It really got me thinking about passion and what drives it. Is it something we are shocked into, dragged into, stumbled upon, or already caught up in? Is it a desire to stay ahead of the game, so that we seem like a better Christian because we are "passionate" about a cause? There's the word that has begun to haunt me these past few weeks. Ever since I started this journey with my eyes being opened to human trafficking and the absolutely evil forces that are at work in the world, then to have that knowledge fueled by the revelations of the Kony video. The ache in my heart just grew until I thought I couldn't stand it anymore. These people, these victims, these children, these families. But I kept hearing one word over and over and over, cause. I even used the word a few times myself. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being passionate about a cause, but is that all we are passionate about? A cause?

Are we more concerned with having our name tied to a "hot button" issue or a "trendy" topic? When we passionately spread our information out to others, are we even focused on them as people, or are we just focused on "converting" them to our side? Here is passion's weakness: the cause. I have seen too many people get so caught up in a particular cause that they forget they are dealing with people. They get so caught up in the information that they forget about the victims. Passion can be a good or bad thing. God instilled passion, when we keep our own emotions in check, can be amazing. Passion fueled by our own desires and letting our emotions lead, can be devastating. I see people so passionate about a cause that they don't even realize the harm they are doing rather than the good. How many times have we had a passionate person want to talk to us about their specific cause and we get beat over the head with information and are never allowed to disagree without feeling ashamed? How did that make us feel about their cause? That is not passion for people, that is passion for a thing. We do not need to be investing all of our time and efforts into things. Things don't bring change, people bring change. We can't bring change by hauling people over to our corner kicking and screaming. No, a cause is just a thing, do not be passionate about a thing.

I am not saying that if you are passionate about one of these causes that you are not passionate about people, and I think it's very easy for us all to spot the difference. There are several ways to tell if you have become more passionate about the actual cause rather than the people behind it.

• When talking about your cause to others are you thinking about the people who are actually affected by it?
• When sharing your information how do you feel if someone disagrees with you about it?
• Do you feel that your cause is the most important cause and that everyone else should be as passionate as you are about it?
• Do you even remember why you became so passionate about this in the first place?
• What is your #1 goal when it comes to your passion?
• If the cause you are passionate about came to an end tomorrow would you be relieved or feel empty because you no longer have something to fight for?

What good can we do for any particular cause if we are so absorbed in the cause that we forget the names and the faces behind it? What good can we do if we can't even recognize the people we are trying to explain it to, or get upset when not everyone feels as passionately as we do? What good can come when we have become so engrossed in the cause that we forget what it was that brought us there in the first place? What good can come if we are fighting simply to fight rather than fighting to bring it to an end? What good can we do if we are fighting for a thing rather than for people? So bringing me to my last point, is it a people-driven issue, or a people-created issue?

Is it an issue that will really, truly, absolutely bring freedom and life to people, or is it an issue that someone has created because they believe that it should be done that way? Are we trying to spread awareness because something is truly wrong or just because we believe that it is wrong. Yes, those things can be mutually exclusive. There are many things that people believe are wrong about religion, does that make it actually wrong or just believably wrong? Beyond asking ourselves is my passion about people or is my passion about a thing, we need to be asking ourselves is the cause I am passionate about focused on people or focused on a thing.

Our passion will never amount to anything if the issue we focus on is about a thing rather than on  people. Our passion will never amount to anything if we ourselves are focused on a thing rather than on people. Ultimately our passion should always be about people. God's call of passion on our lives is always about the issues that grieve His heart. It is how He stirs the hands of His people into action.  Passion is about going out and doing, about respecting others and inspiring them. It grows through its actions and inspires others to change. It brings hope, joy, and eventually revolution.

What revolution are you striving for?

Passion's Purpose

We can all think of someone who we would define as "passionate". They have an issue that they hold close to their heart and they advocate for it no matter what. Their feelings go beyond usual feelings of empathy or sympathy for others, and is turned into action. We can also think of someone who we would define as "excessively passionate". Someone who is argumentative with anyone who disagrees, someone who pushes their own opinions without stopping to hear what anyone else has to say. In fact, though we describe that person as passionate I think what we really mean is "stubborn" maybe even "self-centered" maybe even a little bit "extreme." It's hard to define passionate without having to include those other categories as well, and since I'm on a journey of passion I figured I need to define what passion is to me when I use it in my posts. A person who is argumentative, although seen by the world as a "passionate" person, to me does not define true passion. However, a person who longs to share information about the cause they hold so dear without forcing it on others, without condemning them for holding a different opinion, without becoming argumentative, that is true passion. A person who has true passion understands that the importance of the information they hold is more important than winning an argument.

Another aspect that is important to me when defining passion is the reasoning behind that passion. Maybe something tragic happened so they become passionate about making sure that never happens to someone else. Selfless truth. Maybe something amazing happened and truly changed their life and they want everyone else to share in it. Excited, sharing truth. On the other hand, maybe they are hopping on the bandwagon of a "popular" topic that caused them to feel something. Emotional truth. Maybe they feel that their way is the right way and that if you do it any other way you are wrong. Judgemental truth. There are so many other examples, but they all come down to this: motivation. What is the driving force behind your passion?

The world has a slightly different view of passion. Ok, maybe not different, so much as "falling a little short." The world sees passion as an emotion the drives someone to do something. And their actions will, hopefully, lead to something happening. Passion is the seed that brings change, but not because it is based on anything emotional. In fact, my recent post about Kony is a perfect example. It was one of those moments I felt emotionally charged over something and didn't care to see beyond my feelings. I still do believe with all my heart that we should be actively trying to bring restoration to those effected by Kony and the LRA. However, my feelings led me to share a resource that was actually harmful to the cause. It's a perfect example of why when it comes to issues that we feel led to, we need to seperate our emotions. Or we need to at least make sure that it is not our emotions controlling us. If we don't keep our emotions at bay it has the opportunity to destroy the work we can be doing for that cause. No, passion is not an emotion. Passion is a calling.

Like everything God has brought into our life, passion goes beyond just a feeling and into the actual heart and call of God. When we as Christians begin to feel passionate about an issue, I believe it is becasue we are feeling the heart of God lead us into a direction that He is calling us. A passion for missions. A passion for charity work. A passion for a new job. A passion for motherhood. Passion is God's way of leading us, directing us, and keeping us exactly where it is He wants us to be. Every Christian has a specific passion that they feel toward a specific thing, but all of our passions are rooted in one purpose: the love of God.

God's love restores, God's love heals, God's love saves. Each of us has a specific calling on our lives. If God called us all to the same passion then there would be some seriously neglected people on the world. We cannot all feel called to foreign mission when we have so many who are lost in our own backyard. We cannot all feel called to human trafficking and seek to free all 27 million who are enslaved when we have children who need us to teach them. We cannot all feel called to hunt out Kony and the members of the LRA and rescue the over 30,000 children they have kidnapped and trained as soldiers. These do seem like huge numbers, but there are 7 BILLION people in the world and over 2 billion of them have never even heard the gospel. No matter what our passion is, no matter what God calls us to do, it is rooted in this: bringing the love of God to the world. That is how we are going to actually bring a change. We could completely end slavery, we could shut down the NRA, we could adopt every orphan from around the world, end abortion, but it would all mean nothing if we did not do it with a heart for the gospel. It would mean nothing if we save these people from the temporary pain of this world, and leave them empty when it comes to the eternal saving grace of God our Father and of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The next 27 minutes...

***UPDATED***
I had posted the widely viewed Kony 2012 video as an example of passion. It is an amazilngly touching video about Joseph Kony and the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), and I posted it in an attempt to shed light on the evil forces that truly are at work in the world. When I posted it, I was not even considering that it was linked to an organization, I was simply focused on the issue. The issue definitely needs attention, but I can no longer in good conscience leave the video posted knowing what I now do about the organization itself. I know that everyone who has not seen the video is now curious. I know that we are all adults here and can make our own decisions based on the facts given to us. I do feel like this video is a great resource when it comes to opening our eyes to the issues of Kony and the LRA despite it's sensationalism and despite the fact that the organization itself it not one that can be trusted. I still do not feel comfortable keeping the video on my blog. I did realize that there was some controversy about Invisible Children and did post links including information about this controversy, but I feel like the controversy that has recently been brought to light is too important and the issue too emotional to leave the video posted. If I knew that I could leave the video posted simply as a visual for the issues regarding the LRA then I would, but I cannot in good conscience leave the video up knowing that some viewers may donate to Invisible Children based on the video.

The controversy actually runs a lot deeper than I realized when I posted it yesterday. Yesterday, when I posted the video, the controversy seemed to be based on the percentage of donations actually used for the cause. Later it was brought to light that Invisible Children actually supports other violent organizations and is backed by "Anonymous" a group that has declared war on America, Christians, and Jews. It appears that they do not truly care about Uganda and it seems they simply chose an emotional topic that they could use to gain noteriety and funding. It truly does sadden me. It saddens me that a very good resource that could have been used to spread awareness is now useless based on who produced it. Bearing all of that in mind, know that I am asking that if you do watch the video that you do not donate to them. Simply watch it as a way to educate yourself about the evil that still exists in the world and the true need there is for Christians to remain involved in global social issues. I am truly sorry if I mislead anyone in regards to the video. I did state that I was not pushing them as a reputable charity or asking anyone to donate, but I feel like I did not do as responsible of a job as I should have when it came to actually doing research before I posted. And, of course, it deeply saddens me that when it comes to a serious topic that needs attention that one would need to research a charity that claims to support it.

Somebody's Someone

This month I am embarking on a journey of passion in order to fulfill my resolution for revolution. One area that this passion is going to hugely impact is human trafficking. There are more people in slavery today than there has ever been in any other point in History.  I pray that hearing this will spark a little something in all of us. Human trafficking is not a particularly "new" concept for me. It's something that a few people I am close to are involved in, but it has never been something I have thought about. Ever. It seemed so far away. But God, in His infinite ways, has been stirring up this desire all around me, bringing the heart of His people closer to the heart of His own desires. And as I sat in a room with other moms drinking coffee, enjoying a little quiet time, and began hearing a little bit about human trafficking in my own city, God did His thing.

The day before, I had heard a few staggering statistics about my city. We are #2 in AIDS cases, #1 in Syphilis, #2 in Chlamydia, #5 in Gonorrhea, we have a higher murder rate than Washington DC, New York, and Los Angeles. These statistics blew me away. Blew. Me. Away. It broke my heart for the people around me, absolutely broke my heart. Then here I was sitting in this room listening to one of the women discuss an upcoming fund raiser for an organization she started a couple of years ago to fight human trafficking. God's working, the preparation He had done so that I would be ready to accept this seed, began to take shape. I began to realize that this was not a "far away" problem. I began to realize that this does not just affect everyone else. This has the very real possibility to affect my own family, my friends, my children. Does that make it more important? No, but sometimes that's what it takes to wake us up to a situation isn't it. My city is one of the top 10 cities for human trafficking. The youngest confirmed victim of sex trafficking in my city is 6 years old. My state has the highest rate of child homelessness of all the 50 states, with 30% of homeless shelter youth and 70% of street youth falling victim to commercial sexual exploitation. All of these stats were taken from my friend's site TraffickingHope.org and there are many, many more stats that will make your heart break. This is not far away. This is in my city, my state, my country. This isn't in the red light district in Amsterdam where prostitution is legal. This isn't in a third world country where people are living in such hopelessness that they are willing to do whatever it takes to get out. No, this is here in my backyard. In fact, there could be a slave right next door.

We heard of a girl, who shares her story in the book "The Slave Next Door". A young girl who was lured in by a 17 year old boy at her school. A boy she saw every day, boy who was nice to her, a boy who offered to drive her home, but instead took her to his home under the guise of "dropping something off on the way". This girl was then drugged and raped and beaten by some 20 men, pictures were taken, and the next day the threats began. She was given copies of the pictures. They threatened to tell her father, who was an affluent business man and very involved in the local Catholic church, and threatened to get him fired. They would call her every night, and she would have to go. She would sneak out under the noses of her parents while they were sleeping and do whatever it was they were calling her to do. She was not a runaway, she was not unloved, she was not homeless. She was a scared young girl who didn't know what to do, so she did the only thing she could think of to protect herself and her family.

This is where the passion for human trafficking and my passion for mothers merge. There are 27 million people in bondage worldwide. 99% of them have not been rescued, but 100% of them are somebody's child. We were told of the handlers who roam the malls seeking out "targets". They seek out the girls who feel insecure, the girls who are seeking to be validated. It's something as simple as telling a girl she has beautiful eyes only to have her say, "No, they're not." What does this mean for us as moms? This is not meant to be an overwhelmingly scary realization. Yes, this is a heavy and uncomfortable topic, but we serve an Almighty God who protects us, who guides us, and who is immensely more powerful than any harm that can come to us. This means that we, as moms, hold all the power, that we can change it all.

It begins with us. It begins with our children. We can transform this horrific cycle one family at a time. It means raising our sons to respect women, to value them, to understand that women are not objects to use, but people to be adored. It means raising our daughters to recognize their true value, to understand the importance of modesty and respect, to teach them the difference between affection and manipulation. If we raise up men who love and respect women, women who love and respect themselves, and wrap it all up in a love and respect for God our Father, we can end this cycle of slavery and abuse. It's hard not to get caught up in the vastness, the severity, the devastation. We may not all be called to go in and rescue these girls from their lives of slavery. We may not all be called to host fund-raisers, to start organizations, to hit the streets, to "get dirty". We may not all feel "passionate" about human trafficking. But as moms we are all called to raise up the next generation, and as moms that's something we should all be passionate about.