The Mommy Calling: Thankful for the Hard Things

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thankful for the Hard Things

This Thanksgiving I challenged myself to truly think about what I am thankful for. For 25 days, to journal as many things as I can hoping to reach 250 things on my journey to 1,000, until I reached the point where I was truly thankful in all things. Along the way, I realized how awkward I felt lifting everything up to God, but found such freedom in the worship that came with vocalizing, journaling, and bringing all of my circumstances to the Lord in thanksgiving. I reached a point where giving thanks in even the hard things became more natural, where I learned to give thanks for the most precious gift God had given me but I had never brought before Him. And today, on Thanksgiving Eve, in preparation for my 25th Day, I will thank God for the one of my hardest things: Autism.

The journey through diagnosis and healing has not been an easy one, but who am I to be thankful for only the easy things? Who am I to discount the power, the testimony, the beauty, that comes from the trials? Who am I to tell God that when he created my beautiful baby boy that He made a mistake? In fact, if there's one thing I learned through this journey it's the perfection in His plan, including autism. If ever I was given the choice to change my son into the world's version of "perfect" I would not think twice. I would not think twice because the answer would be, "no." Why would I want to change who my son is? Just because it is difficult? Just because he's not "normal"? Why would I change the perfection that is my autistic son, just because the world does not see him as perfect?

Autism is the reason I love my son. I do not love him in spite of his autism, I love him because of it. I love his Independence, his "engineer" mind, his quirks. Is it hard when he doesn't make eye contact, when he tries to hurt himself or others, when he didn't speak for the first 18 months of his life? Yes, but every parent deals with difficult behavior, does it mean they love their child any less? Why would his behavior effect my feelings for him? Why would his autism make me love him any less? In fact, the things I love about him the most, the things that make him unique, are all attributes of his diagnosis. I love how he took my double stroller apart and I couldn't put it back together (what 2 year old knows how to successfully use a screw driver?) I love how he has such a teacher's spirit, spurred on by his therapies. I love everything about this little boy and everything he has brought to my life.
So today, as I thank God for the hard things, I will thank God especially for my son, for autism, for God's perfection brought to us in imperfect packages.

2 comments:

daisy gNovember 24, 2011 at 7:07 AM
Perfection is a state of mind. Have a wonderful day.
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CarolDecember 18, 2011 at 7:50 PM
God sees us perfect because of the blood of Jesus
We see our "delayed grandson" perfect because of the Love of Jesus
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Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope you found encouragement and joy from my posts. I would love to hear what you have to say! It is my responsibility to make sure all of the content is uplifting, respectful, and true. Any comments that are viewed as personal attacks, false accusations, and any use of profanity will not be tolerated. Thank you, and please leave a comment that I will be able to post so others can be encouraged through your words as well!

Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-31

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Strength and honor are her clothing;she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Titus 2:1-8

Speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine. That the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things -- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exort young men to be sober-minded in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.

What did you do today?

Today I was an explorer. I went on adventures to see the wonderful secrets of God's creation. I watched as the birds flew across the sky, listened as the wind blew through the trees, and felt the warmth of the sun upon my face. Today I was a chef preparing gourmet four-course meals the likes of which the finest restaurants have never seen. Today I was a teacher conducting experiments, revealing hidden truths, and watching the amazement of these lessons being learned for the first time. Today I was a student, a doctor, a friend, a performer. Today I was a MOM. And tomorrow I get to do it all over again!

My Hope For You

My hope for you, my fellow mommies, is that you will go throughout your day encouraged by successes, challenged by failures, and thankful for your experiences. That you will learn to thank God in the bad as well as the good, that you will use the powers of the Holy Spirit to become the best you can be, and that you will live your life according to the purpose you were given when you were created in the image of God Himself. May you find encouragement here so you can face the hardships of being a mom, a wife, and an imperfect person trying to live purposefully in an imperfect world, with grace.