I'm Not Perfect...Thus I Blog...

I mean, I think that is rather obvious don't you! There is nothing about me that is "super" and there is nothing that I do that you can't do yourself. This blog is really more of a "personal journal" that I hoped God would use to encourage women. I say it's a personal journal because every post, every verse, every topic is all about me and where I am. My struggles, my successes, what God has spoken to me. I still have to act on everything I write. Just because I know it's the truth and I know it's what's right, doesn't mean I always do it either. But one thing I've learned these past few years, and especially these past few months, is how God can use my imperfections for His glory. Here's a little overview of what God has actually taught me through my own blog, or, rather, what He has taught me because I made the decision to be obedient to Him when I started this blog and was willing to share His message instead of my own.

I was going to share the regular stuff. My family, breastfeeding information, activities for the kids. Usual, "boring" stuff. I wrote up a few posts, including one that dealt with the Bible Study I was in (Beth Moore's Fruits of the Spirit study) and shared it with some friends. They thought it was great, so I decided to go ahead and post it, figuring maybe, maybe, 50 people would read it. I started with the post about my Bible Study. Let's just say the reaction was less than welcoming. The details are not important, but it got very, very messy. Add to that I was silently dealing with a miscarriage while trying to take care of a three month old and two toddlers. I thought I had made a mistake, bitten off more than I could chew, strayed from the "purpose" God had called me to. But in the midst of it all God spoke. In the middle of the storm, God came to me and held me. He didn't calm the storm (in fact, it raged for months, and has only recently calmed to a light drizzle), but He calmed me, and He used this trial to teach me more about myself, more about my ministry, more about others than ever before. So now, even though my blog isn't full of the information I thought it would be, even though it isn't as "fun" or as "me", I realized that God wanted to do something even better with it. Even if at the time it didn't feel like it was what was better for me. I don't know if I would have learned these things about myself if I had stuck to my original plans for the blog. I would not have met the amazing women that I have in the process and received such encouragement from them. I would not have learned who my true friends are. I wouldn't have discovered so much about my own personal beliefs. I know for a fact that I would not have been able to touch so many people's lives with my posts. But God can...and He did...

I have most recently learned not to compare myself to others. That my worth is not dependant on how it relates to someone else's greatness or how I am viewed by others. Which is really great because I fail every day in so many different areas. I can do a lot of things, but I can't do it all. And those areas that I struggle in can so easily become stumbling blocks for me. Luckily I can take my struggles and turn them into encouragement. I am messy (seriously, take a look at the before picture!) I struggle with being a good wife, I struggle with being gentle, I have my own mommy confessions. I have a hard time saying yes to my kids. I live a not-so-perfect life. But I can also overcome the mess, I can work on using gentleness, I can be a YES mom. I know it sounds so easy when I put it that way, but it is a daily journey becoming who it is that God has called me to be, the good thing is I can do it. The good thing is I am made perfect in Christ and God is working me towards that perfection every single day.

I know, there are a TON of links in this post (click on the red wording to open a link related to that phrase)! I don't expect you to be able to read all of them (although I wish you would). Just think of this as my year in review! I wanted to make sure I put the links in to make sure you knew exactly what I was talking about. Hopefully, you can get to know me a little better. To be able to see my heart. I pray that God reveals and works in you the same as He did in me through this blog so far! So, let's continue our journey together as I take a little glimpse into the future...